by Christa Upton
It was the day of my scheduled C-section, and I was extremely excited about the birth of our third child. I was nervous as well but expected that the worst would be over soon.
The medical professionals got everything all ready, and Steve came into the operating room with his “Daddy scrubs” on. I tried not to think about the process too much, and we eagerly awaited the arrival of our baby.
But then the doctor said some words—they might as well have been another language. He brought our baby around the curtain to the side where I could see, and the emotions hit. I felt like my world was caving in, like I was falling into a hole.
I don’t remember when the words “spina bifida” were said the first time. But I do remember lying in my hospital bed knowing my baby was 70 miles away in another hospital.
I do remember arriving at our daughter’s bedside 2 days later, terrified of what we were facing.
I remember the kind neo-natal nurses’ patience, the doctors’ words of encouragement, and the information that we slowly gathered from all the medical professionals.
Five days later we were headed home with our daughter, a boatload of medical supplies, and a binder-full of instructions.
I found myself horribly afraid that I would not do something right. Our daughter had three disorders that can affect breathing, plus seizures developed nine months later. They sent us home with an apnea monitor which we used religiously, but I still struggled. I lived in fear that I would miss something, forget what the doctors had told us, or mess up somehow.
I was afraid that I would mess up and our baby would die.
But one day, God put the most wonderful picture in my head. He showed me that HE, the Lord of the Universe, the Creator of my child, the Master of all, is our daughter’s Doctor. Steve and I are only the “nurses on duty.”
Of course being the nurse on duty requires a great amount of responsibility. But the ultimate Caregiver of people under our care is our loving, all-powerful God.
crocus photo by my Mom, Judy Ittzes
Are you a “nurse on duty”? Are you a full-time caregiver? (Even if you aren’t a full-time caregiver, you’ve probably been a “nurse on duty” at some point in your life.)
Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books PO Box 293 Custer, SD 57730