Notice my title is grammatically incorrect; it should read: How to Rear Great Kids. But I did it to make a point: don’t make little things into big things! Sure, it’s great to encourage your kids to do their best in school, activities, life. Positive motivation is usually very effective, assuming the relationship is good.
But in the end, who really cares if my title says Raise or Rear? Besides OCD grammarians. LOL Just kidding since I tend to be one myself!
My sweet Mom told a story about my very early childhood that motivated me to set aside my tendencies (like being an OCD grammarian) and raise my kids with …. LOVE. Just like she did.
So:
Focus on training your child to care about people, not be perfect in every little thing.
and two more thoughts:
- Apologize to your children when you mess up. (Even if they are adults now, you can still apologize if you realize you need to. My friend’s Mom did this, and it was absolutely huge in their relationship mending.)
- You be the first to model by treating THEM with patience (lots of it), kindness, humility, honor/respect, selflessness (in reality, not just show), being slow to anger, keeping no record of wrongs (this is so important), protecting (even protecting from such “little” things as embarrassment when you can), trusting your kids (believing what they tell you, with reason and logic involved and accounting for mis-perception from the child), persevering with them and not giving up when they need greater empathy and help through difficulties.
Idea 2. comes from I Corinthians 13. Applying it means looking at their perspective, their thoughts and ideas, their concerns.
Be fair. Be generous. Own up to your mistakes and bad choices. Be the type of person pleasant to be around, and this helps them want to be around you. 🙂
Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books Edgemont, SD 57735
