What I Miss/What I Love

I do try to focus on the positives of life, try to follow in the footsteps of my Grandfather, whom Dad always called “the eternal optimist.”

Usually it’s pretty easy for me, unless I am scared or worried.  Then I have to squash down my “writer’s imagination,” which can imagine all sorts of horrible things going wrong.

But today I’ll admit what I miss:

A recliner.

Going exactly where I want to, when I want to.

Seeing my parents and siblings.

Holiday parties.

Church.

However, I am so grateful it’s easy to connect through phone, internet, etc.  I remember the days when long distance phone cost so much I had to limit the time talking to Mom!  I also love when friends have come out here to visit.

And now I will list things I’m thankful for that have come because of illness:

Totally different perspective on life.

More patience.

New friends.

Living here in the Black Hills.  The Hills that still seem enchanting to me, because when I was young we’d come here and spend time with my dear Grandparents, revel in nature and old buildings so different from home, enjoy really fun outings with my parents, take a break from “life” for a while.  Our trips here during childhood were almost like reaching the back of the wardrobe and finding Narnia.

Time to write.

Stronger marriage.

Greater compassion.

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books   Edgemont, SD  57735

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Why is it Bad to “Kill” Mold?

“A common misperception is that killing mold, which is a relatively easy task, eliminates risk from contaminated environments or items. Unfortunately, this does little to decrease the risk as nonviable fungal spores, fragments, and mycotoxins remain present and, due to their structure, such as with an epoxide ring, [117] they can be extremely difficult to destroy.”

That is a quote from one of my favorite articles on mold, found here.

Back in 2008 when we were busy “killing” mold in our mold house, setting the stage for me to get incredibly ill, that article had not even been published yet!

So what does “killing” mold do?  Among other things, it can cause the toxins to become more airborne.  I do not know why exactly this happens, but some people think it’s because the mold is trying to “fight back” and save itself.  Kind of like a skunk spraying or a snake biting.  Or kind of like how some plants are toxic–people and animals learn to leave them alone.  Only mold has a unique ability to shoot its toxins into the air.

Another aspect is that it tends to increase the population of antimicrobial-resistant mold, just like antibiotics do this with bacteria. Not a good prospect.  🙁 

For materials in a home, there are at least three scenarios.

Scenario 1: mold has grown on dirt on a basically non-porous surface, such as a hard plastic window sill.  Wipe away the dirt, and the mold goes with it.  No need to use any kind of “killer” at all, just wipe it away.  I cannot guarantee this will work, but it is likely to, because the worst, most tenacious molds are not likely to grow on windowsills (or tubs or sinks).  They usually like dark, very wet, hidden places such as walls with a hidden leak.

Scenario 2: mold has grown on a porous surface, such as drywall or wood beams.  If sprayed and wiped, some of the mold may come off, but the roots will remain in the drywall.  Even if you cannot see them and even if mold does not grow back, the roots remain and give off toxins.  These toxins are so small they go through paint, flooring (maybe not porcelain tile though probably through the grout), walls, ceilings, thick cement, etc.

So far, we have found that aluminum foil WILL block toxins.  I would guess most metals would, too, as well as glass.  But just be aware that one would not want to completely foil over a wall because walls need to breathe to avoid moisture getting trapped in the wall and causing more mold. Also this is really more of a last-ditch band-aid, because we do not know how airflow and other things work over time.

From the article above: “Research has shown that none of the commonly used methods for cleaning water-damaged materials such as bleach, ammonia, ultraviolet (UV) light, heating, and ozone were found to completely remove mold and mycotoxins from water-damaged building materials [113].”

So, drywall with mold should be removed.  Wood beams may be (with Hazmat practices) sandblasted, dry-ice blasted, or planed.  Take off a thin layer of the wood along with mold roots.

Please be aware, however, that even good remediation rarely works for the worst houses and the sickest mold-ill people.  🙁 

Also, some mold-ill people need a whole new location to heal, not just a remediated house or new house.  I had to move 3 states away to begin healing.

Scenario 3: mold has grown nearby (in a wall) and its spores and toxins have landed on objects.

It will grow in clothing, mattresses, wood furniture, etc.  But even on non-porous items, such as electronics, the spores and/or toxins will land and “stick” there until wiped off.  (Some cannot be wiped off.  🙁  ) They are invisible (certainly no visible mold growth) but can be very dangerous to the body.

We were able to salvage some things from our mold house by washing thoroughly, but we also did not have the most “sticky” kinds of mold in our house.

“Dead” mold is just as toxic as viable mold spores are.  Dead mold can put out toxins at a terrible rate.

So, don’t kill mold; remove it and you will be the healthier for it.

If you are really sick, consider a mold sabbatical and bigger measures to increase your health.  We would love to have you join our group: Practical Mold Avoidance (FB)

 

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books  Edgemont, SD  57735

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7 Thoughts on Testing Materials

So when you’re really sick from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity/Environmental Illness/Toxic Injury, how do you test materials to see if you can tolerate them?

It was tough for me because I felt it was hard to tell the difference between really miserable and a wee bit more than really miserable.  LOL

This is why I never did the “sleep with it under your bed and see if you still sleep okay” approach.  I NEVER slept well or even “okay,” for about 8 years.  Horrible sleep continued right up until July 2016 or so–having lived in this low-tox house for 5 months, my sleep finally started to improve.

So, here’s how we approached things:

  1.  We took a look at the science.  In general, my body cannot handle man-made materials whereas I am mostly okay with most natural materials.  Three major exceptions are chlorine, borate, and formaldehyde, all of which occur naturally but can be toxic.  I also cannot ingest silicone dioxide used in pills, salt, and seasonings, but I do great with natural silicon found in my spring water.  I also seemed to do great smelling sodium silicate, even when it was wet.  In this case, I feel there must be a huge difference between smelling something and eating it.  🙂
  2. After choosing the most scientifically natural materials, we put them in baby food jars if they could fit.   If it was something that needed to dry (plaster), we found we had to put it somewhere where it would not become contaminated with the lid off while drying.  Otherwise, the substance would pick up VOCs from storage (i. e. someone’s garage–car exhaust).
  3. I would take a cautious whiff of the substance.  In my case, one of my first symptoms to something that is going to hurt me is nausea.  If no nausea, then I’d take another whiff and pay attention to any other symptoms or warning signs.  However:
  4. Symptoms can be delayed, so this makes it tricky.
  5. Another tricky point: a person can be fine with something for a while and then develop intolerance to it.  My hypothesis is that the substance gets built up in the body, or the body gets “behind” in the process of how it has to eliminate that particular substance.
  6. Allergies are different from toxin reactions but can be related or similar.  Allergies can also be life-threatening of course, so they are just as important as toxin reactions.  Fortunately, “most” allergies will flare immediately upon contact with the substance.
  7. Sometimes substances can cause fatigue and other problems even though they do not cause discernible symptoms either at the moment or even later.  They “just” contribute to “fatigue.”  Our best logical strategy against this, statistically, was 1.  (looking at the science).

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books   Edgemont, SD

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Easy Tomato Sauce

041Easy Tomato Sauce

  • About ½ stick butter or a few tablespoons olive oil
  • 2 cloves garlic, roughly chopped, salted (Let sit with salt a few minutes.)
  • 5-6 cups of garden tomatoes, quartered
  • Salt

Gently sauté garlic in hot oil, stirring to prevent burning.

Add tomatoes; reduce heat until barely bubbling.  Simmer 30 minutes, checking and stirring periodically to make sure it doesn’t burn.

Continue simmering until desired thickness is reached. (Boil off some of the liquid.)

Use a fork to slide out tomato skins, if desired.

Use potato masher (or immersion blender) to mash (or puree) to desired consistency.

Salt to taste.

You can add any herbs or spices you like (oregano, basil, thyme, paprika, cayenne, pepper, etc.)  With my tummy still recovering, I love it with just these four ingredients.

I actually cooked mine in my Solar Hot Pot today.  http://www.solarcooker-at-cantinawest.com/hotpot-solar-cookers.html

Cooking in the Solar Hot Pot will make a very soupy sauce, which I like.  You could even add a little cream and eat it as soup.  Anyway, this is because very little water escapes from the Hot Pot, and tomatoes are very juicy.

I love using my Solar Hot Pot and saving energy, and I love going outside to reset to the sun rather than being inside checking to make sure it doesn’t burn.  The tomatoes should not burn in the Hot Pot.  Although, the garlic in butter could if left too long.

To cook this in a Solar Hot Pot, set out your Hot Pot in the sun (with reflector) with the butter and garlic.  Let this cook about 30 minutes (15 minutes if it is mid-summer or closer to the equator than we are).

007Then quickly add tomatoes.  Also put a round baking rack in the top to hold a meat thermometer.  (You can sort of see these in the above photo.)  Don’t let the thermometer touch the bottom of Pot; make sure it’s resting in the middle of the tomatoes.

In one hour, reset to sun and check temp.  The temperature should be up to 140 at least in 1 ½ hours, for food safety (bacteria growth).

Keep resetting to sun every hour or so.

008Mine was great after the tomatoes had been in 3 ½ hours.

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Christa Upton     Black Hills Picture Books     Edgemont, SD   57735

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Building a House for MCS

Steve & I have been working on our new book, Building a House for Multiple Chemical Sensitivity: a Mold-Resistant, Low-Tox Home. 

MCS book cover

(That title is a mouthful! LOL)

In the book, we explain in detail how we built the house and thought processes behind decisions regarding chemicals, mold resistance and prevention, and making the house as healthy as we could. We took over 40 precautions against mold and tried to make the house as scientifically low-chemical as possible, except when mold resistance needed to be prioritized over low-chemical (such as plastic window frames versus metal, the cheap version of which can cause thermal bridging and therefore condensation).

Steve took a lot of photographs along the way; we put over 60 in the book.

Click here to order:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LIMV0EI

If you’d like the print version, click here: https://www.createspace.com/6719437

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books  Edgemont, SD  57735

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Jan Karon, Wonderful Writer

Today I’d like to write about one of my favorite authors, Jan Karon.

I can think of five reasons why I think her books are destined to become Christian classics.

  1. Karon developed her characters so well that I feel I could meet any number of them on the street.  (And would love to meet them, too!)
  2. The town of Mitford reminds one of many towns and fun fantasy at the same time. It could be Anywhere, USA but exudes a sense of magical, irresistible charm.

So, characters full of complex personality and dimension plus vibrant description of a lovely town equals “classic” presentation of 20th century small town America (IMHO).  I feel this book could be read in the future similar to how we read Laura Ingalls Wilder today, only adult-oriented.

  1. The theology is so good (IMHO) that this fiction can help people through normal life.
  2. Many of the novels present the gospel in a natural way that it is not at all preachy.
  3. The subjects brought up are universal and timeless—death, birth, marriage, generational interaction, human depravity, and the Church.

So, if you’d like a cozy and fun book to curl up with tonight, run to the library and grab a Jan Karon!

(Actually I can’t read library books anymore because of scent picked up in the books, but our library has Karon books on CD!!)

Read more about Jan Karon here:  https://www.amazon.com/Jan-Karon/e/B000APIF3E/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1471567876&sr=1-2-ent

And find her website here:  http://www.mitfordbooks.com/

Christa Upton  Black Hills Picture Books Edgemont, SD  57735

 

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A Letter from My Husband When Someone Attacked Me

My husband never ended up sending this letter, but it helped me “process” the harm the other person tried to do to me (years ago, an out-of-state friend).

Maybe it can help some of you who have been wrongly attacked because of your chronic illness.  You aren’t the only one.

Here is an excerpt:

This is Steve writing, and I am shocked by your response to [our] friendly letter to family and friends. I am appalled at your unkind and hurtful words, your baseless accusations. It is this type of misunderstanding and judgmental-ism that has made dealing with Christa’s physical illness even more difficult.

Unfortunately, we have found that many others who also suffer from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity also suffer ridicule and abandonment from family and friends. It is also unfortunate that some people, when they don’t understand a physical illness, chalk it up to mental illness. It is disappointing to see you suddenly change, withdraw your support, and damage what we considered to be a good friendship with you.

Your accusations about the care, safety, and well-being of our kids and Christa’s care for them is totally baseless and couldn’t be more wrong….She has also had to suffer emotionally due to unkind attitudes and words directed at her by people who think they have it all figured out and know what she should “simply do” in order to get better. I couldn’t ask for a more loving, caring, hard-working, relentless, unselfish woman to be the mother of my children.

It grieves me that some people have so quickly forgotten who Christa is, the same woman who when healthy balanced motherhood, commitment to God and church, community activities, etc. She is still that same highly self-driven person, only hindered by a physical condition that so many people evidently can’t understand. Fortunately, we have found a host of understanding people here that are gathering alongside us as you once did, helping us weather the storm of a long-term illness complicated with unusual environmental needs and caring for a child with special needs.

I am deeply saddened that you view the pain and suffering my family has gone through as “craziness.” I will sadly remove you from our mailing list so that you don’t have to “suffer” with us any longer.

Steve

If you have also been attacked unjustly, remember others who have been as well and came out shining:  a man named Job in the Bible, Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Eric Liddell, and Jesus.

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books   Edgemont, SD  57735

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Sixth Month in the Low-Tox House

Let me say that without this house, I’d probably be dead.

019Among other complications to my surviving extremely severe Toxic Injury (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), our young daughter needed scoliosis surgery this year.  The surgery and many complications following has necessitated medical equipment and chemicals into the house that tear down my health.

It has also meant days and weeks without my husband, since (thankfully) he’s at her side constantly during the hospital stays she has had to endure.

For 7 years, Steve:

  • Helped me bathe, except rare times camping when I could do it myself.
  • Made food that I can eat. (The older kids helped with this.)
  • Washed bedding, towels, etc., sometimes multiple times, when they became contaminated. (The kids helped with this, too.)
  • Helped me figure out what was causing acute reactions and removed it.
  • Helped me get my environment the best we could.
  • Took me to fresh air when I was having trouble breathing.
  • Took me to a park to give my body a break, especially when I was having greater trouble eating or coping with pain.

The last place we lived, it was the first time we couldn’t find a place in the country since leaving the mold house.  I didn’t do well in town (pollution, neighboring Laundromats, gas stations), and my MCS became more & more severe.

Because of the severe, specific symptoms I was experiencing, I was in danger of heart attack, stroke, severe breathing problems, and un-treatable anemia.

By January 2016, I could barely get out of bed to fry an egg once a day.  I couldn’t be on computer at all.  My heart hardly ever worked normally.  My digestion was so bad I could hardly eat anything.   My pain levels were 4 – 9.

The last few weeks, baths were torturous.  Steve did everything he could, but when done, my pain levels were usually 8 or 9, my heart was racing, and I could not speak.

What was even more concerning is that this was all in the winter, before the use of herbicides and pesticides started up in the neighborhood.

For 6 years we hadn’t been able to find a rental in the country, away from agricultural spraying and other hazards, with no mold, that we could afford.   The last year or two, our camper was so contaminated (with herbicide, etc.) I got sick every time I went in to use the restroom.

So, how could I have dealt with all this without Steve, with more and more chemical use in the neighborhood as the spring went on?  Not to mention the chemical-filled medical supplies for our daughter when he did get home?

I couldn’t have.

Hopefully next month (when necessary chemicals “die down”???  when the summer heat is gone, when I reap the benefits of sweating all summer), I’ll have a better idea of improvement and new energy level.

For now, I’m glad to be alive.

 

Christa Upton       Black Hills Picture Books    Edgemont, SD   57735

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Can Hot Dogs be Good for You?

Hot dogs–junk food, right?  Well, the traditional ones contain those controversial nitrites, and they give me headaches even if I just smell them cooking.

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All-natural hot dogs still contain nitrites, but at least they are from food sources.

When I was extremely sick, I had trouble digesting meat.  So I basically stopped eating it.  Three or four months later, I began to experience weakness and other low-protein/low-iron symptoms.

But all kinds of meat I tried increased my daily stomach pain, a lot.  Elk was the worst.  (Later found out elk can be hard to digest.)

What to do?

Steve found all-natural hot dogs.  My weakness was concerning and sure trumped any concerns over “perfect” food.

It worked!  For about 2 years, hot dogs became my main source of meat protein.  I got better.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Oscar-Mayer-Selects-Turkey-Hardwood-Smoked-Uncured-Turkey-Franks-8-count-16-oz/14712178

So, hot dogs helped me!

Obviously, I was not in ideal situations, or able to eat “ideal” meats.  (And I was sad that I couldn’t just skip meat altogether, but my body is too broken by mold and chemicals.)

Why did hot dogs go so much better?  Maybe because they are “pre-digested” in machines??  Ew.  LOL

Okay, so even all-natural hot dogs will never really be a “health food.”  But I was grateful for them!

(Now in the low-tox house, I can eat any kind of meat I want, as long as I don’t eat too much of one kind in a week.)

Christa Upton   Black Hills Picture Books   Edgemont, SD

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Whose Fault?

index-315754_1280There are people who think everything is everyone else’s fault.  And there are people who think everything is their own fault.  I’m the latter.

Maybe there are even balanced people who know that not everything is “someone’s fault” and can also think clearly whether they need to forgive (someone else’s fault) or repent (their own fault).

Back to me, because that’s what blogs are for, right—to talk about yourself?  LOL  (JK)

It’s tough being my type.  Something goes wrong—I wonder what I did to cause it.  I blame myself for bad things; I wonder how I could have tried harder.

Although if I had a choice between being these two types of people, I would still choose “blame myself” because I’d rather cause myself undue pain than cause others undue pain.

But of course better still is working toward that balanced person.  🙂

I think one truth along the journey is realizing that no matter how hard we or anyone else tries, we cannot stop all bad things.  We have to accept lack of control.  This is hard to do, especially when one has been through traumatic events.

Even harder (I think) is accepting the fact that even though God DOES have ability to stop all bad things, He doesn’t do it.

As I have said in previous posts, I don’t think any amount of reasoning will ever explain “why.”  But God has given many people through the centuries the faith to believe that He is Love anyway.  That He is perfect, that we can trust Him no matter how awful things get.

Through my own scary journey with MCS, God has helped relieve me of false-guilt shackles, wrong ways of thinking, and blaming myself for everything.

I still struggle (and probably always will until heaven), but I can see progress.

It helps to distinguish between moral choices and choices which are inherently neither moral nor immoral (such as what to make for lunch or how to do laundry).  Sometimes choices which are neither moral nor immoral lead to bad things happening, but unless God warned (and the person ignored God), I believe these are not sins and should not cause guilt even if they seem to cause bad circumstances.

A related area is abuser/abuse victim false guilt.  It is common, I hear.  It finally happened to me.  Someone in authority wrote abusive things to me/us and copied many other people (having become confused themselves but hurtful and abusive nonetheless).  For months I struggled with what I had done to cause it.

My husband Steve helped me see it this way:  when someone runs a red light (makes a bad choice) and hits you, you do not blame yourself for “not swerving out of the way.”  Yes.  So true.

Sometimes bad things in relationships have roots in both parties.  But even then, when a huge obstacle appears in the relationship, there is often someone running a red light.  The one getting hit should not blame themselves for getting hit.

Don’t give blame when it’s not their fault; don’t accept blame when it’s not your fault.  Accept circumstances when it is no one’s fault.  Easier said than done, but finding strength in God makes it easier.

 

Black Hills Picture Books      Edgemont, SD   57735

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