Lazy vs. Conservation of Energy

Posted on September 14, 2015 by Christa Upton

relaxed-1512861 (1)Many people with chronic illness face limited energy.

There is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), which can “stand alone.” (Doctors have a number of ideas of what may cause it.)

And there can be severe energy problems with Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS), Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, and many other diseases, not to mention medication side effects.

I have faced extreme energy limitations for a number of years but have always been a work-a-holic.

(I even turned down a date with future hubby once, to practice piano at college!!! YIKES! Good thing he knew by then that I liked him and just had a problem with work-a-holism. 🙂 )

A few times (mostly in our mold house where I got sick), I got to the place where I literally barely had the energy to breathe.

I did not even have the energy to deal with sound and light, yet I couldn’t sleep. I had to lie in bed with shades drawn and not move until I had gained a little strength. Terrible, terrible feeling.

Other times, I’d face exhaustion that wasn’t quite as bad but physically painful (hard to describe). I could not eat or sleep. I guess I figured my body didn’t even have the energy to produce the correct sleep hormones. (NOT a “good tired.”) Most of these times, my heart was beating too fast or too hard or both.

Eventually, I learned to mostly stop pushing and rest before I’d get to that point.

But sometimes, I have struggled with the feeling that I’m lazy. (Stupid, I know.)

Sometimes, I have felt the need to stop pushing even “a bit back” from the edge of the cliff, but I couldn’t figure out why.

Until one day I realized it was conservation of energy.

I’m starting to realize that if I push closer to the edge of that cliff, I will not have enough energy to deal with what’s ahead.

So why am I writing about this today?

Because I believe there are thousands and thousands of people who suffer fatigue problems, and their loved ones have no idea how hard it is.

Because I hate to see others judge someone as lazy when they truly are struggling.

Because human nature has a hard time with fatigue in others (especially if the person has to pick up the slack for the sick one).

Yes, some people really are lazy, and others will milk the situation. Still others have no idea how to truly push themselves beyond “the minimum” (a “form” of laziness, so to speak).

But there are many people who “look like” they should be able to do more and really can’t or shouldn’t.

Take a look at their personality & character. If they “used to be” a work-a-holic, chances are, they still are.

If they are a person of integrity, then for pete’s sake, believe them when they say they are too tired to do something.

I am so thankful that my hubby has always believed me.

Be a hero like my husband and believe your loved one.

 

PS  A close friend reminded me of another frustration that people like us (with energy issues) face:  sometimes we will try to “save up” energy for something, and we STILL can’t do that something when the time comes.  It is really hard emotionally.  My husband is probably better at dealing with this than I am, even when it affects him and he has to do more work!!!  He is so good about remembering, understanding, and adapting.

Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books    Edgemont, SD 57735

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Posted in Caregivers, God's Grace/Encouragement, MCS/Chronic Illness, Suffering/Grief | Leave a comment

3 Reasons to Surrender to God No Matter What

Posted on September 9, 2015 by Christa Upton
digits-705666_1280
  1.  God is perfect and perfectly loving.
    1. How can I say that despite everything God has allowed in my life (see Welcome post, Homeless posts, etc.), one might ask?  Because I don’t have to understand God.  “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  I believe God when He says He is good and all His ways are perfect.
    2. And trying to understand Him is like a 2 year old trying to understand the wisdom of his grandfather, only much, much more so.
  2. There is no one else to turn to.
    1. Satan is the enemy of our souls.
    2. Trusting in ourselves or false gods or other human beings is fruitless and pitiful.
  3. God is the Rewarder of all who love Him.

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Posted in God's Grace/Encouragement, Homelessness, MCS/Chronic Illness, Suffering/Grief | Leave a comment

100th Post Tradition

Posted on September 7, 2015 by Christa Upton

key-lime-pie-617705_1280Apparently it’s blogging tradition on your 100th post to list 100 things about yourself. Here goes (in no particular order):

  1. I love horses.
  2. I wish Narnia were real.
  3. My lively imagination used to scare me in dark hallways. (Sometimes still does.)
  4. Once my sister and friend tried to get me to eat cookies with cat food in them! LOL
  5. I love my sister and friend anyway. 
  6. My brother can fix anything. Not quite with just a “Fonzie whack,” but almost! I love him, too.
  7. I think Renaissance music is heavenly.
  8. I think J. S. Bach was a genius.
  9. I think my Dad is a genius, too. And the best Dad in the world.
  10. My Mom is the best Mom in the world, and very encouraging and very sweet and very beautiful.
  11. My husband is my knight in shining armor and very sweet.
  12. Our kids are lovable, fun, funny, creative, and dear—all three of them.
  13. Sometimes a photo is so beautiful it hurts.
  14. I’m a rainbow addict.
  15. I have an “adopted” sister whom I love dearly. I’ve never even met her face-to-face, but we are bonded together!
  16. I pronounce “foreign” with three syllables. (And everyone laughs at me.)
  17. I miss my kitty (who passed away Jan. 2013).
  18. I love cows and sheep.
  19. I miss ballet.
  20. If I could do anything in the world the rest of my life, it would be organic gardening and farming (minus the frustrations of failure and difficulties of weeds and pests…. Oh. Well, I guess that’s heaven, not earth!)
  21. I am drawn to lavender (the color) like bees to flowers.
  22. I like pink, sky blue, and yellow, too.
  23. I can’t stand turtlenecks (feel like I’m choking).
  24. I have so much brain fog that I’ll probably end up putting the same thing on here twice.
  25. My favorite stuffed animal as a kid was a pink bunny (no name).
  26. My favorite stuffed animal as a teenager was a brown dog (named Valentine).
  27. Good grief—this is hard! I’m a perfectionist….
  28. One of my teachers in elementary school made us laugh a lot. (He was always telling us to turn to page elevendy seven, calling out non-existent students at roll, and standing on squeaky parts of the wood floor and rocking on them to make them squeak more.)
  29. I hate spiders.
  30. And snakes.
  31. I’ve been in 44 of the 50 United States and 4 Canadian Provinces. (But no other countries.)
  32. If I could travel abroad, I would go to England, Germany, Hungary, Australia, and the Philippines.
  33. I’m slowly writing a novel for adults, maybe the only adult fiction book I will ever write. I got the idea for it in a dream!
  34. I secretly hope I also have time before I die to write adult science-fiction.
  35. I watched Dr. Who in high school (and liked the experience because it was fun with friends but thought all the bad guys were creepy).
  36. I have so much brain fog that I’ll probably end up putting the same thing on here twice.
  37. I like to ride horses bareback, even galloping (which is probably the most “dangerous” thing I’ve ever done in my life, and pretty good considering I’m a bit of a scaredy cat).
  38. My favorite movies are Facing the Giants and Gods and Generals.
  39. My favorite TV show is Monk.
  40. I like Sue Thomas, F. B. Eye also—a lot.
  41. I like most of the Agatha Christie mysteries made for TV/movies.
  42. Except for some very bad swear words and a couple scenes, I love the movie Source Code.
  43. I stay awake at night wondering what happened to Shawn Fentress (from Source Code). LOL
  44. I didn’t get any altitude sickness when we moved here—strange but wonderful!
  45. I love birds, especially Mountain Bluebirds, Blue Jays, Cardinals, and Chick-a-dees.
  46. I have so much brain fog that I’ll probably end up putting the same thing on here twice.
  47. I like to be organized.
  48. Organizing relaxes me.
  49. My feet are small for my height.
  50. I’m eating a brownie right now.
  51. I love Hungary.
  52. I am hungry.
  53. This reminds me of the gold miser’s journals in “Mr. Monk Gets Married” (Season 2).
  54. I have memorized way too many Monk episodes.
  55. I wouldn’t have done that if I were not sick in bed so much, though.
  56. But it is fun to have a “Monk quote” for everything.
  57. I love my purple quilted purse, my quilts, and my embroidered pillowcase my dear mother-in-law made for me.
  58. My parents-in-law are wonderful.
  59. The first time I met my (future) father-in-law, he gave me a cough drop because I was coughing after a choir concert I had just participated in. I loved that. It made me feel cared about.
  60. I love people.
  61. If I get involved in a project, sometimes I forget to eat.
  62. My favorite musical is…. Oh, wait, I hate musicals.
  63. I like the A & E series Zorro (from the 1990s).
  64. My favorite rocks are amethyst, rose quartz, and mica.
  65. My favorite lake is Sylvan Lake in Custer County, South Dakota.
  66. I didn’t know they used to make aluminum Christmas trees until Christmas 2013. (I thought it was just a joke in the old “Charlie Brown Christmas” TV show.)
  67. I think aluminum Christmas trees are kind of pretty.
  68. But I still think Charlie Brown is right about Christmas.
  69. Actually, I was kidding on #62. I like The Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof, White Christmas, West Side Story, Psych the Musical, and Singing in the Rain.
  70. I do not like the Disney version of Prince Caspian. My kids don’t think it’s as bad as I think it is.
  71. I love Veggie Tales, especially Gideon, Tuba Warrior and Little Joe.
  72. I like tea cups.
  73. I like Depression glass.
  74. I like other glass.
  75. I like huge windows.
  76. I like Chanticleer (the singing group).
  77. I like the CD Celtic Treasure.
  78. I have so much brain fog that I’ll probably end up putting the same thing on here twice.
  79. I like cheese-less pizza a lot if it has mushrooms all over it.
  80. I like chicken pot pie (especially on Tuesday nights).
  81. I like skirts and dresses that touch the floor.
  82. I feel like Laura Ingalls Wilder or Jane Bennett when I walk in the long grass in a long skirt.
  83. I’m more like Jane Bennett than Lizzy Bennett.
  84. But my first name IS Elizabeth. For real.
  85. I collect rocks, feathers, and tea cups.
  86. I love the show “Worst Cooks” on Food Network.
  87. I also like “Good Eats,” “30 Minute Meals,” “Cupcake Wars,” “Challenge,” “Iron Chef America,” “Cutthroat Kitchen,” “Guy’s Grocery Games,” and “Dinner Impossible.” (shows on Food Network).
  88. I learned how to chop veggies from Food Network.
  89. I used to hate to chop veggies, and now I love it.
  90. Good grief, I still have 11 more things to think of? Hm. My volleyball number in high school was 11.
  91. I only chose number 11 for my volleyball number because number 7 was already taken.
  92. WAY before we met, number 7 was also my husband’s favorite number.
  93. AND we both liked purple before we met.
  94. PLUS we both had the same favorite Scripture verses before we met!!! (Proverbs 3:5-6) Can you believe that?
  95. My favorite thing about our mulch pile a couple years ago was that the wild turkeys and deer came to eat out of it.
  96. I think it’s weird to have a “favorite thing” about a mulch pile.
  97. I wonder what Legos do at night while I’m asleep.
  98. I used to think the fruits of the Spirit were love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, beakness, and self-control. I wondered what beakness was.
  99. My kids think the weirdest thing about me is that I like to plan things in detail months or even years in advance or even plan things that will never happen (like designing my own restaurants). AND FINALLY NUMBER
  100. I really, really want a piece of banana cream pie right now, because I am looking at an illustration in my new picture book “The Cat Race,” and the banana cream pie looks yummy.

If you read this whole list, you are either my Mom or sister or very bored or very nice. LOL

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What God Creates, What Humanity Creates, and Why do we Like Art so Much?

Posted on September 2, 2015 by Christa Upton

2015-06-20 18.50.29 (3)God:

  • stars
  • roses
  • diamonds
  • exquisite frost
  • sunsets
  • pine trees
  • loving dogs
  • cuddly cats
  • beautiful horses
  • cocoa beans
  • coffee beans
  • marital fun
  • oceans
  • mountains
  • garlic
  • rainbows

Humanity:

  • hate
  • evil
  • persecution
  • excruciating pain
  • destruction
  • despair
  • sorrow
  • criticism
  • impatience
  • unkindness
  • selfishness
  • utter nastiness
  • suffering

Art: a gift from God to humanity to create something a wee bit like Him

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Facing the Giants Movie Review

Posted on August 31, 2015 by Christa Upton

facing_the_giantsYeah, yeah, I know it’s an old movie. But maybe there are some who haven’t seen it. (Spoiler alert, by the way. You might want to watch the movie before reading my post starting after the grades.)

And today I’d like to discuss something peculiar. But first, here is how I would “grade” the movie:

Characters: A
Plot: A
Dialogue: A+
Pace: A
Music: A+
Message: A+
Theology: A+
Acting: A- to A+
Setting: A
Artistic quality of camera work (although it really isn’t
meant to be an artistic movie like The Black Stallion): C
Humor: A+
Relevance & Impact: A+

Facing the Giants is a “happily ever after” movie. Some have accused it of portraying God as a genie or something.

My family & I have been through a good amount of suffering, trouble, and disappointments in the last seven years, especially the last five years.

Why is this movie STILL one of my favorites?

A major theme throughout the movie is being faithful to God no matter what happens. The greatest example is when Brooke makes a very clear statement that even if God never gives them children, she will still love Him. (Though personally I probably could not enjoy the movie if I were infertile and God had said “no” to me; it would be too painful.)

Other points:

  • Many people are not willing to go through what this couple did (for long enough that it caused pain, fear, sorrow, and angst to this couple) and still trust God. In the middle of the movie is where they show their true faith. This inspires me.
  • The emphasis of the movie is on trusting God regardless, not believing God for a certain thing. Even when Grant steps out in faith to do what he feels God called him to do, he is not certain of where it will lead.
  • The guy in the wheelchair never gets healed. It is obvious that he is content and obedient to God in the circumstance in which God has allowed him to be at this current time.
  • Even with a raise, Grant doesn’t make much money!  That does not say “genie God” to me.
  • I relate to the scene where Brock does the “death crawl.” Very much.
  • The movie ending could be seen as an allegory of heaven for ALL faithful believers.

I know not all people have the same taste, so maybe you won’t like it. But I love it. 

Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books PO Box 293 Custer, SD 57730

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A Scary Thing

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Christa Upton

monk-showSo we have the first 7 seasons of the TV show Monk. I’ve been watching especially the first 5 during these years I’ve been sick.

A couple weeks ago, my kids gave me a “quiz” to see how quickly I could identify episodes. They gathered the first 5 seasons (20 discs) and randomly chose episodes (out of 76 episodes I think).

They would start the episode, and I would call out the name of it. [They gave me a break for my brain fog and let me identify by description if I couldn’t quite get the name…. “Gold Miser Guy!” (“Mr. Monk Gets Married.”)]

We did 32 episodes for the quiz all together.

My average time for identifying episodes was 6.74 seconds.

And exactly 50% of them, I identified the episodes by the opening music and sound effects only (no dialogue).

That’s scary.

But also funny.

My longest time was 34.29 seconds (“Mr. Monk Gets Married”), and my shortest time was 1.26 seconds (“Mr. Monk and the Red-headed Stranger.”)

What’s my favorite episode? Glad you asked! lol It’s “Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum.” I think it’s because of the cicadas.

You know a show is good when you are watching an episode for the 15th time and you STILL laugh out loud at the funny parts.

A little toast (with Sierra Springs water of course): here’s to Monk, and all the people who worked so hard to make it one of the greatest TV shows of all time (IMHO)!

If you watch Monk, what’s your favorite episode? What other TV shows do you like and why? Although I didn’t really say WHY I like Monk. lol Maybe another post sometime….

 

Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books PO Box 293 Custer, SD 57730

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Children who are Allowed to Grieve Become Stronger Adults – Part 3

Posted on August 24, 2015 by Christa Upton

little-girl-2-1440666-639x493There is a difference between a child who needs to grieve and one who is being whiney, selfish, or demanding.

How to tell the difference?

The first thing I must say is pray for wisdom. Regardless of my “points” below, God has the wisdom that you need for each child and each situation. (See James 1 in the Bible.)

Some analytical points that God might use to guide you:

  • A “whiney” child often sounds more whiney than sad. Listen carefully. Though sometimes it is really hard to tell the difference.
  • Watch the child’s face. A “whiney” face may look more angry and disgruntled; a sad face may look more distraught. But again, sometimes it is really hard to tell the difference. One of our children used to look angry when they were actually repentant (because they were angry at themselves because they had messed up). Similarly, faces can be confusing with selfishness vs. grief.
  • A demanding child might express more anger than sadness. Children can be demanding because like all of us, children are born sinful and selfish. However, it is possible that a child has become demanding and angry because their attempts at expressing sorrows have been unvalidated or ignored, or worse: shut down, reprimanded, or met with punishment.

Another aspect to keep in mind is context.

Is the child facing struggles in his or her life (such as physical ailments like I mentioned before)?

Have significant losses come into their life?

Are their parents facing difficulties? Even if parents try to “hide” financial troubles, relationship problems, etc., children often know somehow, even if they don’t know details. Sometimes it is better to bring the details to light (and together take them to the Lord); sometimes not.

Now, how to validate, if you see that the child is experiencing legitimate grief for one reason or another…. Consider these ideas:

  • Drop everything you are doing and thinking about and think only about the child.
  • Hug, if the child likes hugs; gently wipe away tears (but DON’T say to stop crying).
  • Say something simple, such as, “I’m sorry, this is hard.” or “I’m sorry, this is not fair.”
  • Ask the Lord if more words are needed.
  • If the child is young and in certain situations, distraction may be appropriate, especially after the grief has been expressed some.
  • Comfort in a way that speaks to the child.
  • Consider sharing something to empathize, but ONLY if it does not minimize what the child is going through.

Children are our most precious resource. Let us guide them gently, and with great compassion, through their sorrows.

Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books PO Box 293 Custer, SD 57730

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Children who are Allowed to Grieve Become Stronger Adults – Part 2

Posted on August 19, 2015 by Christa Upton

sad-boy-1564119-639x745I was allowed to grieve as a child.

My Mom is one of the most compassionate people I know.

Whenever I would experience something difficult (kitty dying, really bad cases of poison ivy, hurt by a friend at school), my Mom helped me through.

Her kind words and empathy did many things for me.

  • Her words validated the fact that it is okay to be sad over things. (Even Jesus was sad!)
  • Her words and actions and taking the time to empathize showed me that she cared about what I was going through. She put aside her agenda to comfort me.
  • She showed me how to see things through another’s perspective by looking at things through my perspective!
  • Her modeling of compassion helped me become a compassionate person.
  • Her acceptance and helping bear my sorrow gave me the strength to get through it.
  • Her warm hug helped me grieve the sorrow while yet knowing I was loved, helping me put the grief into perspective.
  • Neither she nor Dad were put off by my tears.

Take a look at this, from Jay Wile’s well-respected science course for middle school children, Exploring Creation with General Science.

“Tears produced by strong emotions contain chemicals that do not appear (to any great extent) in tears produced by eye irritants. These chemicals include manganese (a chemical depressant), leucine-enkephalin (a chemical that helps control pain), and the adrenocorticotrophic hormone (a chemical produced by bodies under stress). When you get rid of those chemicals by crying, the net effect is to make you feel better. By releasing those toxins, then, the tears serve to chemically and physically make you feel less depressed! (Wile 377)”

WOW! Why have doctors not told us this?

If even we adults cried more, maybe there would be fewer people asking for antidepressants or pain pills or experiencing stress-related illnesses!

In this respect alone, it seems rather imperative to let children do what is natural AND healthy.

So, let us live by the maxim: “Let them cry!!!”

Wile, Dr. Jay L. Exploring Creation with General Science, 2nd Edition. Apologia Ministries, Inc.: Anderson, IN. 2008.

P.S.  Please pray because another stress has come up in our lives.  We’re fine, but we need the Lord to provide help/wisdom.

Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books PO Box 293 Custer, SD 57730

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Posted in Caregivers, Children, Suffering/Grief | 2 Comments

Children who are Allowed to Grieve Become Stronger Adults

Posted on August 17, 2015 by Christa Upton

sad-1223006-639x426I don’t mean that one has to allow every child to wail and scream for 30 minutes over every little boo-boo. But sometimes we adults don’t realize how big a sorrow is to a little child.

Also–and this is more tricky–sometimes children cry over something little because it “represents” something bigger. Being aware of this helps us treat the crying the way we should–with compassion, patience, and respect of what the child is enduring.

Some children experience far more grief than others. This could include children who:

  • are born with physical struggles such as missing limbs, cerebral palsy, spina bifida, deafness, or blindness or many other struggles
  • are born with learning struggles such as autism or dyslexia
  • are born into poverty, which usually affects their ability to thrive emotionally in public school
  • have parents with chronic (or even short-term) illness
  • experience greater losses than most, including parents divorcing or losing a parent to death
  • are born into abusive families (although these children often learn early to stuff grief, and others may not be able to draw them out until they become adults)

In general, these children are far more likely to cry over something “little” to release grief over the big things in their lives. This is because they cannot grieve like adults.

For instance, on the day of their birth, they do not have the chance to cry over the discovery of their physical struggles (like the parents do).

And they don’t have the capacity to one day sit up and say, “Hey, I’m deaf; now I can grieve that I won’t ever hear music.”

Not to mention that even though parents may grieve a physical problem with their baby at birth, they will continue to grieve off and on through different ways.

Why wouldn’t a child?

We need to be careful not to shut down a child’s grief.

Otherwise, this unresolved, unmourned grief will carry over into adulthood, affecting their relationships, emotional health, and emotional and mental strength.

In the worst scenarios, they may reject God because they were not shown enough of His compassion, love, kindness, and caring.

Allowing a child to express sorrow helps them become loving and compassionate toward others as well.

For a serious post, this is getting long, so I will stop and continue next time.

Christa Upton Black Hills Picture Books PO Box 293 Custer, SD 57730

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Posted in Caregivers, Children, Suffering/Grief | 5 Comments

Lessons from Cutthroat Kitchen

Posted on August 12, 2015 by Christa Upton

Lessons from Cutthroat Kitchen

chef-cooking-1383480-638x423It’s a really fun show, IMHO (Food Network TV show).  Alton Brown gives contestants a chance to throw all kinds of crazy constraints or difficulties on fellow chefs.  I really enjoy the show (although sometimes I feel sorry for the losers).

After many of the rounds, Alton says something like here’s so and so great chef.  He is going to judge your food.  He doesn’t know what you’ve been through, and neither does he care!  All he cares about is what on the plate.

Isn’t that what life is like?

People don’t know what you’ve faced or how hard you’ve worked; they just want results.

In America, there are many opportunities because of freedom.  But that still doesn’t mean that even some Americans start life or start adulthood with HUGE advantages over other people.

This includes spiritual training, health, physical attributes, mental capabilities, talents, and childhood home (which could be filled with love or abuse or somewhere in between).

It is just one more way that life is sometimes unfair.  It can be discouraging, especially for those who try hard and are still looked down on, by other people.  Maybe this is you.

But, even if no other human being knows how hard you have tried, what you have overcome–God sees and knows.  He cares about your difficulties, and He sees your integrity even if no one else does.

He is ready and waiting to help you soar higher, even if you are never recognized on earth for your efforts.

And on the other side of the coin, what would happen if we DID take into consideration what others have gone through?  Would we appreciate how far some have come?  Could we encourage some strugglers instead of being frustrated with their faults?

Let’s remember that God sees EVERY kindness and effort that we do, and let’s look at others with as much understanding as we can.

 

Christa Upton    Black Hills Picture Books    PO Box 293   Custer, SD  57730

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Posted in God's Grace/Encouragement, Suffering/Grief | 4 Comments