Our credit had been ruined by the hidden mold in our house and subsequent short sale of the house, so our church found some private individuals who were willing and able to loan a huge amount of money to build the new, low-tox house.
Also, our ability to make income was almost nil for about 8 years due to my being disabled and our young daughter being in a wheelchair with spina bifida (and I could not care for her).
They also sponsored a very large fundraiser to cover the rest of the costs. This fundraiser involved our pastor writing a wonderful letter, our online local homeschool group contributing and spreading the word, numerous other churches of friends or where we had attended living in other towns in the past doing the same, another local church that did a fun potato bar fundraiser, our alma mater giving a short update about us in the university newsletter allowing some people to reconnect with us and help as well, a dear friend from high school tirelessly sharing our information and doing a Go Fund Me campaign, and I think I’m forgetting something. It was a huge effort, and many people gave. In the past, another church did a fun children’s fair, and our friend generously gave a benefit concert.
One friend found many pre-owned metal and ceramic items we could use in the house, and others contributed beautiful fabrics (used for curtains), expertise, encouragement, and prayers. One family took us in for months while the house was being built.
Our church also found volunteers to save a great amount of money on labor, and my husband Steve and son Nathan were able to do most of the tiling and wall construction (plaster) while still taking care of our youngest and me.
We can only say “thank you” to all of them and those who gave to the fundraiser and even after the fundraiser and other help, and trust God to bless them back. I still cannot wrap my head around how they did all this. Every day I am grateful for this house, grateful for the suffering it has relieved, grateful to be alive and getting better.
For anyone who wants to read it, here is the letter that our pastor wrote:
Dear Church Family,
People are in need all around us. You would have to shut your eyes tight in order to get through a single day without coming across someone who is in need. Granted, often times the ‘need’ is nothing more than a word of encouragement or a simple smile to lift someone’s spirit and help them through a tough day. Of course, frequently the needs are material in nature rather than psychological or spiritual. I am regularly approached in my office by people who need a meal, some gas money or help paying essential bills like water and electricity.
And I have to admit it is easy to become jaded when you see people asking for help and yet making very poor choices with the money they do have. As such, I have spent a fair amount of time pondering this question: What is the difference between offering a handout and offering a hand up? And does the Bible have any input for us? Intuitively we know there is a difference, yet it can be hard to put into words or concrete terms.
When we think of a hand out we frequently attach negative connotations to it. Maybe we picture a panhandler begging for coins on a corner who immediately goes and buys alcohol or cigarettes when he’s collected enough donations. Or perhaps you think of a person who simply will not work. If you feed him a meal today you’ll have to feed him again tomorrow because he’s not interested in getting a job and supporting himself. Giving money in these situations is nothing more than a handout with no effective, long lasting positive impact. It may meet an immediate need (if the money is actually used for a meal) but fails to help make a permanent change for the better.
However, I don’t believe all handouts need to carry that negative implication. The reality is there are times in most people’s lives when we just need a little extra to get us through a particular situation. And it is undeniable, that for some people, events happen beyond our control that cause us to be in need. I think of the story of Elijah and the widow in 1st Kings 17. A severe drought had dried up the stream where Elijah had been holed up so God sent Him to Zarephath in Sidon. As he entered the gates of the city he saw a widow gathering sticks for a fire. He asked her for water to drink and a piece of bread. He was asking for a handout. He had an immediate need. He was hungry and had no food for himself. There is nothing negative attached to Elijah’s need. It simply was there and needed to be met. Handouts don’t have to be bad things.
Back to our story, the widow complained that she only had enough flour and oil left to make one meager meal for her and her son, and then they would starve. Elijah tells her to go ahead and do as she planned but to make his meal first. If she would, he promised, God would miraculously provide flour and oil until the drought was broken. In response to her faithfulness to provide a handout to Elijah God would give her a hand up, an actual way out of her dire circumstances.
This widow found herself in a place where she could not supply what her family needed through no fault of her own. She required someone else to provide for her what she could not
procure for herself in order to get her through to a point where she would be able to provide. I think that is the essence of a hand up. It is supplying what someone needs in order to get them back on their feet until they are able to walk on their own again. In my mind a handout fixes an immediate need but doesn’t do anything to change the future. A hand up looks to change a situation so that in the future a handout will no longer be necessary.
Most of you are probably aware of a family in our church that finds themselves in need of a hand up. The Upton family was doing well as Steve enjoyed a career as a music minister at a church in Indiana, his wife, Christa, was heavily involved in church activities as were the children. All that came to a crashing halt when Christa became deathly ill. Over time it was discovered that their home was infected with black mold but not until Christa’s body (and the kids to a lesser degree) had been severely compromised.
Their exposure to the mold in their home resulted in Toxic Injury/Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (TI/MCS), with Christa suffering the worst. Her extreme condition causes her to have serious physical reactions to chemicals in the environment. From pesticides and herbicides to air fresheners, from fabric softeners to perfumes and colognes, from carpet to formaldehyde-treated wood, even chemicals in foods…the list is long and frustratingly hard to avoid. Because of exposures to these and the difficulty in avoiding them, Christa has been home bound and often bedridden, unable to care for herself.
Between Christa’s need and the special requirements of Sarah, their youngest daughter with spina bifida, in 2010, Steve was forced to give up his career and become a full-time caregiver in the home. With the benefit of prayer, research and wise counsel from physicians and others with TI/MCS, the family moved to the drier, cleaner Black Hills of South Dakota. However, after living in 11 different rental houses in the past 5 years and camping from late spring to fall the past 3 years, it has become apparent that the only realistic chance for improvement and recovery is to build a low-chemical house in a remote, safe-air environment. (For more info on their journey and God’s faithfulness through the rough times, visit Christa’s blog: www.blackhillspicturebooks.com).
After much prayer and discussion we decided to see if we could offer a hand up to the Upton family by facilitating a way into a safe home. Through some investors in the church a remote property has been purchased and a chemically safe steel building is being ordered. The goal is that as Christa’s health improves Steve will be able to return to work and then purchase this home. However, we are still in need of raising funds to make this a livable home. It is a big project but with many people helping it is doable. Would you prayerfully consider being part of this project to help? Checks can be made out to the church and earmarked “Upton Home.” Gifts are not tax deductible but Proverbs 19:17 certainly applies, “One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord, and He will repay him for his good deed.
Thanks for prayerfully considering this request,
Pastor
